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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26390527">part of you is part of me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/renee_wvlker/pseuds/renee_wvlker'>renee_wvlker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>POV Nile Freeman, background joenicky, basically they all love each other, nile and joe talk about religion, nile's first ramadan with the team</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:46:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26390527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/renee_wvlker/pseuds/renee_wvlker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe just laughs merrily. Nile doesn't think she's seen him this happy before. Nicky's also smiling, and Andy looks unbelievably content. Nile wonders whether it's the chance to relax that's put them in such a good mood or the familiarity of routine. Whichever one it is, they should do it more often.</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>It's Ramadan and Nile's getting to know her new family.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nile Freeman &amp; Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>342</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>part of you is part of me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title is from I Went to Hell Last Night by MIKA.<br/>I wanted to write this because I see a lot of people deciding that Joe isn't religious anymore but Nicky is and I disagree! I am not a Muslim so please tell me if there are any mistakes. Thank you for reading :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first day, Nile doesn't notice it. </p>
<p>They're somewhere remote and beautiful in northern Pakistan that she's never heard of before. Supposedly, it's where Andy and Quynh met Joe and Nicky for the first time, though Nile has no idea how they can remember that when it was almost 800 years ago. Andy tells her that they decided to come here to reminisce on better times, but Nile thinks it's also because they wanted to take her somewhere incredible. Somewhere unlike anywhere else she's ever been.</p>
<p>The others don't know this, but Nile has never climbed a mountain before. She's actually never been on holiday outside the US before either, so this whole experience is new. Technically, though, she's Nile Miller now. Nile Freeman will never travel again.</p>
<p>She's too busy taking in the insane view from halfway up a mountain to realise that Andy doesn't hand Joe and Nicky any sandwiches from her backpack when they stop for lunch, and she doesn't offer them a drink either. Nile just thinks they must have eaten very quickly when Joe pulls out his sketchbook a few moments later with no food in sight. </p>
<p>The four of them spend a surreal day among the clouds (or at least that's what it feels like to Nile) before they descend the mountain. They arrive back at the safehouse under the cover of darkness.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Two days later, they're pony trekking instead of walking. Nile has never ridden a horse before, and Andy is horrified.</p>
<p>"26 years on this earth and you've never tried the best method of transport that exists?" she cries when Nile admits it.</p>
<p>Joe laughs so hard he weeps, and turns away when Andy glares at him. </p>
<p>"She's older than horses, technically," Nicky tells Nile, patting Joe's shoulder. "She helped domesticate them."</p>
<p><em> It explains a lot </em> , Nile thinks privately. She likes horses, but won't pretend she's not a little scared of them. One day on horseback doesn't change that, but Andy promises she'll teach Nile properly at some point. Nile complains at first, but it's obvious that Andy isn't going to listen to her. <em> What use are horses now we have cars? </em> she thinks.</p>
<p>It's when they get back to the safehouse that Nile finally realises. Andy goes to the fridge and pulls out two beers, one for herself and one for Nile.</p>
<p>She's learnt by now that Joe almost never drinks, but she's surprised that Andy doesn't offer a beer to Nicky. "Don't you want one?" she asks, and he shoots her an amused glance.</p>
<p>"Oh, Nile," he sighs. "You're normally so perceptive. I was sure you'd notice."</p>
<p>Andy holds out a hand, and Nicky leans over to drop a few crumpled notes into her palm. "Why didn't I bet more?" she groans, smoothing the notes out against her thigh. It's not even the first time Andy has won a bet against Nicky this week.</p>
<p>"Booker didn't realise either," Joe says reassuringly. "Though I don't think he'd ever met a Muslim before me." </p>
<p>That's when it clicks for Nile. "It's Ramadan," she says, "you're fasting." She can't believe she hadn't figured it out before. She's just been so wrapped up in the thoughts of her family and Booker and this whole immortality schtick that she hasn't had time to think about anything else. Then, she frowns. "But I thought you were a Catholic?" she addresses Nicky.</p>
<p>He shrugs. "Yes, I suppose I am," he says slowly. "But to me, faith is more of a <em> feeling </em> than tradition. Anyway, 900 years ago or so, it was just me and Joe, and it all became a little muddled. One year, I decided to fast for Ramadan, and, well, it stuck."</p>
<p>Nile digests this for a moment. "But not you, Andy?"</p>
<p>"You know what I think about religion," she says, downing the rest of her beer and standing up to get another.</p>
<p>"Yeah, illogic, I know," mutters Nile. She's still not sure where the team stands on all of that; she's getting different messages from every one of them. </p>
<p>"We always celebrate Eid together," says Joe after a moment, an answer to an unasked question. "You're welcome to join us."</p>
<p>Nile hesitates and chews her lip. She's never celebrated Eid before; she's always thought of it as a family or community event. Then she realises that Joe and Nicky <em> are </em>her family now, and she nods a yes.</p>
<p>Joe smiles widely, and his happiness is so infectious that Nile finds herself grinning back. He checks his watch, and pokes Nicky in the cheek. "Almost time for iftar," he says, and Nicky rolls his eyes affectionately.</p>
<p>"Wallahi, Joe," he mutters, detaching himself from Joe's side and walking towards the fridge. "One day you will cook for yourself."</p>
<p>"Why would I, when I have you?"</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>They spend two more weeks in Pakistan, then fly to Tunisia. Joe explains that he always makes an effort to make it back to Mahdia for Eid al-Fitr, even though his biological family is long since gone. Nile isn't complaining, though. Joe takes her on a tour of the city while Andy and Nicky meet up with a contact to discuss taking some more work in a couple of weeks, and she's overwhelmed by the beauty. They're never more than 15 minutes away from the ocean, and Joe shows her a forgotten beach with a view for miles. She can see ships on the horizon so small she wonders if she's imagining them.</p>
<p>"Home for me is Nicky," Joe explains when Nile asks, "but Mahdia will always have a special place in my heart. It is where I was born, where I spent my childhood when we weren't traveling. I come here because it's important for me to remember everything I've lost in my very long life. Because my hometown is where I feel most connected to Islam."</p>
<p>"You're more religious than Nicky," Nile says, and it's not a question. She sees it in the way he prays, the way he acts, the way he talks.</p>
<p>He nods, and then shrugs. "You must remember that Nicky's faith sent him across the sea to fight in a war he had no business in. After the First Crusade, he had a lot of trouble with his part in history and how it is linked to his religion. It was a very ugly time; it is understandable that he often feels distant from Catholicism."</p>
<p>Nile digests that slowly. She touches the necklace that still hangs around her neck, that she can't imagine ever taking off. It's hard to think about Nicky in that way, blinded by hatred, but she can remember word for word what he said in Goussainville. "Andy told me what she thinks about God." </p>
<p>Joe sighs and turns to face her. "Andy has seen more religions come and go than you can imagine. She's more powerful than anything else she has ever known; why would she believe in a higher power?" He stares out across the ocean. There's something indescribably ancient and sad and fragile in his gaze. He's more vulnerable in that moment than Nile has ever seen him, so gentle that she almost can't believe that he can be deadly too. "Andy sees her immortality as some kind of cosmic mistake. For Nicky and I, it's a miracle. We get to spend the rest of our incredibly long lives with a family with whom we have a connection stronger than blood. And that includes you, Andy, and Booker, by the way, not just the two of us." He smiles softly and lays a comforting hand on Nile's knee. "Believe Andy, or follow your heart."</p>
<p>After that, they head to a market further inland. It's crammed with people speaking languages that Nile can't understand, some that she can't even identify. It's a feast for her senses, and she feels unbelievably out of place.</p>
<p>"If you want anything, let me know," Joe says, a gentle hand on the small of her back. "I can buy it for you."</p>
<p>"You know, I have my own money," she assures him, but he shakes his head. </p>
<p>"Think of it as a gift."</p>
<p>Nile follows him as he weaves a path through the crowd. People part for him like water, like they can sense his power and know better than to get in his way. She wonders how old she has to be before she has that kind of aura. Every now and then, he stops to haggle with a stallholder in what Nile can identify as Arabic, though she can't understand more than the odd word or so. He places the wares in his backpack, smiles at Nile, and carries on.</p>
<p>At one stall, he buys a slim, well-worn hardback book that he passes to Nile. She flicks through it, yellowing pages brittle and beautiful. It appears to be poetry, though Nile can't be sure.</p>
<p>"For Nicky?" she finds herself asking as she hands it back.</p>
<p>Joe hums an affirmative. </p>
<p>Nile's gaze is inevitably drawn to the food stalls. There are surprisingly many, she thinks, considering most of the population will be fasting. </p>
<p>Joe notices her looking. "Are you hungry?" he asks. He rifles through his wallet and pulls out a couple of dinar notes before pressing them into her hand. When Nile tries to give them back, he hides his hands behind him. "I've had a millennium to amass all the money in the world, don't worry about it."</p>
<p>She buys a pastry she can't pronounce the name of and follows Joe's back through the market until it's time to leave.</p>
<p>When they arrive at Joe and Nicky's house, the others are already there. Nicky gets up to help Joe unpack what he's bought, and when Joe presses the little book into his hands, he smiles bashfully and kisses him on the cheek.</p>
<p>Nile sits down at the table opposite Andy. "Did you find work?" she asks. She hasn't admitted it to any of them yet, but she's nervous as to what the next job will entail. She's been having nightmares about London - not every night but more often than she's been dreaming about Quynh. She doesn't want more deaths on her conscience yet, even if they're justified.</p>
<p>Andy nods. "Some undercover work in Italy," she explains. "We'll leave a few days after Eid."</p>
<p>Suddenly, that seems a little too close for comfort.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The night before Eid, Nile dreams of Quynh. She has her own bedroom, so she doesn't wake the others when she startles from sleep in the early hours. With Quynh's screams ringing in her ears, it's impossible to fall back asleep, so she makes her way to the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. It isn't a surprise to find Joe and Nicky already there; the sun hasn't risen yet and they're eating the last sahur of the year, talking together in their complicated creole language.</p>
<p>Joe grins when he sees her and gestures at his plate. "Hungry?"</p>
<p>She shakes her head, but pours herself a glass of water before joining them at the table. She's progressed to coffee by the time Andy joins them half an hour later.</p>
<p>The four of them spend most of the day relaxing. In the afternoon, Nile takes Andy to the beach Joe showed her. It's the first time the two of them have been alone together since the beginning, but it's not as awkward as Nile had feared it would be. They spar briefly and Andy is just as impressive as she was when she was immortal. If she notices Nile pulling her punches, she doesn't say anything.</p>
<p>As it begins to grow dark, they make their way back home. Nile immediately takes a long, hot bath. She feels more at peace than she has in a long time, even though she knows that they're taking on a new mission in just a few days. She wonders if she should be nervous, then decides it's better to just not think about it.</p>
<p>When she joins the others in the kitchen, she's immediately presented with a wooden spoon.</p>
<p>"Keep an eye on the stew for me," Joe says, before opening the oven and pulling out a tray of Baklawa. Andy is setting the table and Nicky is serving up some kind of couscous onto a platter. </p>
<p>Nile is immediately overwhelmed by it all. They fit around each other like an odd little family, <em> her </em> family, and suddenly she misses her mom and brother more than she can imagine. She busies herself by stirring the stew. "Don't leave me alone with this for too long," she quips, "I'm a terrible cook."</p>
<p>Joe just laughs merrily. Nile doesn't think she's seen him this happy before. Nicky's also smiling, and Andy looks unbelievably content. Nile wonders whether it's the chance to relax that's put them in such a good mood or the familiarity of routine. Whichever one it is, they should do it more often.</p>
<p>Outside, the sun sets. </p>
<p>Nicky is the first to say "Eid Mubarak," and pours himself and Joe glasses of water. The others echo his words. Joe pulls Nicky into a kiss so tender that Nile has to look away from the sheer intimacy of it. They aren't that into PDA and Nile isn't used to being around couples, so she feels strangely guilty watching them together. When she turns to look at Andy, she finds her still looking at them, a smile hidden in her eyes.</p>
<p>After a moment, the two separate and take their places at the table.</p>
<p>Andy raises her wine glass. "To Booker," she says quietly, and it dawns on Nile that it's the first time in almost 200 years that he isn't here to celebrate with them. She knows how much they all miss him, but she also understands why he can't be here. She may be young, but she feels their fear of eternal torture just as keenly. She is, after all, the only one of the four who dreams of Quynh.</p>
<p>They all take a sip of their respective drinks (though Andy's is more of a chug), and sit in silence for a moment, a shared minute of reflection for what they have lost and what they have ahead. Then, Joe gestures in the direction of the food on the table.</p>
<p>"Eat, eat," he says, smiling, "we can't let the food become cold," and the spell is broken.</p>
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